Quick (But Long) Life Update

Since the holidays are over, I have absolutely no reason to not get off my ass and fulfill my daily goals.  More importantly, I need to get back into writing shape in the hopes of turning it into a lucrative career someday.

So, updates….updates…

Well, I haven’t been exercising.  In my head, I’m running like the wind, light as a feather.  In reality, I’m hesitant to go out of the house and go for a brisk walk.  Why?  One time, J asked me what my reason was for wanting to run.  I thought about it and said, “I just want to be the runner I once was.”  He thought that wasn’t reason enough, that it wasn’t powerful enough to will me out of the house and hit the trail and actually do it.

Truth is, I just want to be healthy.  I want to be able to jog for long periods of time and not get winded after only a couple of minutes.  I want my damn right knee to stop aching every time I try to exert any effort to exercise.  I want all the gunk in my system to be flushed out, leaving only the essential stuff my body needs to get through the day.  And yes, I want to be able to do a 5K fun run, and eventually a half marathon, and savor the great feeling of being able to just do it and finish.

Solution to Daily Goal Related to Fitness: Get enough sleep.  Plan a training schedule and stick to it.  Continue counting calories.  I find that my biggest obstacle are my thoughts upon waking up. It’s too cold.  I’m sore from sitting all day long.  I’ll run after lunch.  I’ll run after I work.  I’ll just work out indoors.  It’s too late to work out.  Once I fix a running regimen and meal plan with J’s help, I’ll work on changing my morning thoughts, quickly dress up, and just go out.  I’m in the U.S.  Compared to what I’m used to in the Philippines, it will always be cold here.  Suck it up and go for it!

Lately, all my online time has been monopolized by Facebook and Twitter (and I have a reason, which I will get into later).  I have not been reading random Wikipedia pages for knowledge as planned.  I have not been cruising the nets for inspiration.  I haven’t been blogging (obviously).  I was able to catch up on my Google Reader feed (which is chock full of photos, comics, recipes, and interior design) yesterday, so that’s progress.  I was also able to catch up on some of my shows, but I haven’t written anything about what I thought of them.  Lately I’ve been raving about Mraz’s new single and how it’s my new anthem for the year and all that…that, I have written about in passing, but I really should exercise my writing chops and go deeper.  Will get into that later today.

Solution to Other Daily Goals: I really should start scheduling my days, for real this time.  Being at home 24/7 can be really challenging in terms of productivity.  It’s so easy to get sucked into a 45-minute show, and then another, and yet another.  It’s so easy to do things at the last minute because you think, I have all the time in the world, and before you know it, you’re cramming so your weekend won’t suck.

I have a love for visual lists, so I’m going to start doing them on a daily basis.  Even if I have 1500+ friends on Facebook, it doesn’t mean I need to be updated on each and every one of them.  I’ve recently grouped my contacts into lists, and that allows me to focus on the updates from people that actually mean something to me.  I need to update my Google Reader and add more stuff to it that doesn’t only involve pictures.  I need to set aside an hour a day at least to write whatever comes to mine, even if it’s not-so-important.  While we’re on the subject of exercising my writing talents, I also need to get back to my art.  Doodle even if you think it’s not good enough to post online.  Doodle for you.


In other news…this is what’s been keeping my brain and heart preoccupied:

That’s it for now.  This is Jam, full of life and full of love, signing off.

Daily Goals

Here is a list I came up with just now and put on as my desktop wallpaper.  It is a list of things I need to do on a daily basis to gain control of my own inhibitions and insecurities and unleash the incredible, colorful, life monster inside me.

• Exercise.  Get that flat stomach I've always wanted.  No, "huge pusons run in my family" is not a valid excuse.
• Read a random Wikipedia page.  Knowledge is power.
• Listen to a Jason Mraz song and post about it on your other blog.  I know, too many blogs.  So what? :P
• Spend an hour on Google Reader.  Don't let the unread entries pile up to a thousand.
• Share a link or two...or five.  Prove that I am a social networking butterfly.
• Watch your favorite shows and write something about them.  Have something to show for the hours I spend torrenting and watching dramas and comedies.
• Visit websites for inspiration.  Don't be satisfied with an afternoon of just watching shows.  
• Doodle something.  It doesn't have to be spectacular or digitally rendered.  Move those fingers.  Use my Sharpies and prove that it was a good idea to bring them with me.
• Blog whatever's in my mind at the moment.  Don't think about my audience.  Do it for me.

That's it for now.

Blog Catharis And Other Things Inspiring

Over the weekend, J was updating his server and something happened that caused both of our websites to be wiped out.  I was initially disappointed at the idea of having to remember and re-do all the stuff that I have put into mine—posts about our travels which I have not updated in months, doodles that I have made over the past couple of weeks (which I planned to be a daily exercise, but of course, reality happened), and other stuff that I only vaguely remember.

When J tried to access his last backup and found out that none of my new entries were saved, I took it as a sign.  A warning to sustain my own flow of creativity and not let momentum leave my body.  A reminder that there are more important things than doubt.  That waiting for something amazing to magically fall into your lap or inspiration to hit you smack in the face is a complete waste of time.

I am an overflowing vessel of plans, dreams, and whatnot.  I keep saying I want to get back into running shape, but I always find some lame excuse not to go outside—it's too cold, it's too late, I don't have the right attire, I'm sore.  I call myself an artist, but I allow myself to feel insecure about my work and say that my style is outdated, my skills are not good enough, and no one will be interested in what I do.  I call writing my number one passion, but I can't even transform my 6-month old travel notes into engaging blog entries that retell the excitements of my trip around Asia with J, I haven't written a single new poem in years, and I can't bring myself to chronicle my everyday thoughts for fear of boring my readers (including myself) to tears.

The thought of losing the things I know I've worked hard for—even if it's something as small as mere website content—made me panic, I won't deny it.  However, it also made me realize that I had so much to offer, if I only gave myself the chance.  The things that really count won't be wiped out just like that—they're in my head and my heart, only waiting to be utilized and developed.

This is a fresh start—and I've had many in my life—and this time, I vow not to waste it.  I will fulfill my dreams, ambitions, and plans and watch them become bigger.  I will learn to draw inspiration from everything I can get my hands on.  I will punch fear and doubt and boredom in their guts every time they come at me.

I will take life one day at a time, enjoy my time doing things that make me happy, and not worry about the uncertainty tomorrow because I have hope and faith that good things will happen.


And I am going to love it.