I knew there was a reason I felt compelled to listen to the DMB station on Spotify today.

Nothing else has been playing all day.  I AM SO EXCITED!!!

I am thankful everyday.

To have the love of the greatest guy in the universe. <3

How To Snap Out Of A Writing Hiatus

For someone who claims writing is her passion, I sure have not been doing what makes me happy.  Add making art and doodling to the list of things I would rather do than sit and zone out in front of a laptop.  This stops NOW.  And I hope I don't back out of yet another attempt to jumpstart the juices from flowing.

I will write.  I will make art.  And I have just the stuff to make everything feel like a fun exercise I will not be able to resist.  I have a tool box containing a slew of art supplies, which includes a couple of colored Sharpies and colored pencils.  I have a brand-new sketchbook that's been sitting in my bookshelf for months, dying for me to use it.  I also got this book.

I was in a nearby Barnes & Noble with my husband, browsing at art books, and this caught my attention.  I had a previous doodling project that started out as a daily effort, but gradually, like most of the art projects I've been coming up with these days, it became occasional to non-existent.

It's not that I don't have the discipline.  I just realized why I keep stopping in my tracks with these projects: I have no visible goal to target.  I have no reason to push myself to get off my ass and go write/create something.

Now I do.  My application for a work permit in the U.S. is currently being processed, and I am determined to land a job that's at least related to what I love (writing) or what I went to college for (Multimedia Arts).  I will make it my mission to build up my portfolio and make sure that my work speaks for itself.

The idea of being stuck in a job that I don't enjoy.  That's a thought scary enough to will me out of my writing rut!

The 84h Annual Academy Awards, As Told By A Person Watching A Free Online Stream On A 40-Inch TV And Live Tweeting On Twitter

Yes, you read it right.  Until we get a proper cable service provider to hook up to our brand-new TV, I will have to stick to torrents (for my usual shows and favorite flicks) and online streaming (for sports games and live telecasts of selected shows).  Sadly, the latter option is not so great.  The channels that stream the Oscars on www.ustream.tv and www.justin.tv keep shutting down because of copyright issues, and the ones that don't get shut down are messed up by translators speaking over the presenters, thereby making it impossible to understand (note: I should really get back to learning Spanish).  The last few categories, I had to listen to because the last channel I used just stopped broadcasting images.  It's a good thing my online stream experience only started getting infuriating later on in the show--by then I decided to just torrent the show later on and re-watch the parts I missed.

Anyway, now that my rants are out of the way, here are the things I particularly liked about the show:

Billy Crystal.  I don't care what anyone says...there is a good reason why he has hosted this particular show so many times already.  He always does a good job!  It would have been interesting to see Eddie Murphy do his thing onstage this year, but then I remember the Nutty Professor.  Yeah, Crystal was definitely a good decision.

The in-between actor interviews and movie montages.  Leave it to the Oscars to render movie lovers emotional and nostalgic through heartwarming montages composed of the best movies of all time.  Whoever decided to use talking heads as in-between-presenters fillers definitely knew what they were doing (it also didn't hurt to put the likes of Edward Norton, Robert Downey Jr., and Brad Pitt in it).  And that performance of Cirque du Soleil was absolutely breathtaking!  It is one of my life goals to catch a show, this year or the next.

The comedy. Sandra Bullock speaking Mandarin with a German accent.  That winner who decided to thank everyone who's ever been born instead of offending somebody important he would've forgotten to acknowledge.  RDJ filming a documentary of The Presenter.  Emma Stone milking her first time as a presenter for all its worth.  The list is endless.

Winners that made me go, "Finally!"  I cannot believe this is the first time Christopher Plummer won an Oscar.  His speech was humorous, heartwarming, and very elegant.



And Meryl Streep!  I know she's got a bunch of nominations under her belt, but it's been a while since her last win. She's awesome.

 

My favorites winning.  Hugo was definitely one of my favorite movies last year, and I am so happy that it got a lot of recognition (even if Marty didn't win for best director).  Even my second and third favorites, Midnight in Paris and The Descendants, got a win each for Best Original Screenplay and Best Adapted Screenplay, respectively.  Yay!  On the other hand, I should really watch The Artist, now that  it won Best Picture.  [Full roster of winners, 84th Annual Academy Awards]

All in all, it was a good night.  This is my favorite of all the award shows and I am glad it delivered. :)

Oh, right. I have a blog!

I'll be honest—blogging daily is a tall order, and it only seemed like a doable goal because I was energized at the beginning of the year, blah blah blah.  I really do want to blog everyday, but unfortunately, there won't be much to blog about, if you consider my day-to-day activities (you'll see what I mean in a sec).  The blog name change (from A Daily Dose of Jam) is supposed to both help manage expectations and guilt me into getting back into my passion—writing about stuff that inspire me, sharing interesting ideas, making up stories.  One of these days, when I've got no distractions, I swear I will.


So what have I been up to lately?  Well, with my husband in Australia on business for two weeks, I've been focusing on not focusing on the fact that I am alone for two weeks...did that make sense?  I actually have a bunch of stuff I can do.  I recently bought a guitar in the hopes that I can get myself to self-study again, and I just got my friend to tune it properly (ignore the fact that I couldn't do it on my own for now).  I have a bunch of materials at hand I can transform into art, for our bare apartment walls.  I have a bunch of shows to catch up on, waiting to be marathoned (Downton Abbey, Happy Endings, 30 Rock, Doctor Who, Chuck) and a couple of movies I've been dying to see on my own (yeah, like I can get my guy to watch Love and Other Drugs, The Help [he might actually like this], and Blue Valentine).  So really, I have no reason to be bored and sad.  However, because the 40-inch TV we ordered online just recently arrived, I've been focusing more on the shows and the movies I've got lined up...which all look so badass magnified!  I've been enjoying it non-stop for almost 5 days now...my eyes are actually starting to hurt.  I should really take a break from the watching and do some of the other stuff I vowed I would do.


To try and give me something a great reason to get out of the house and learn how to commute by myself without being terrified, I signed up for pole fitness lessons.  I actually have not heard back from them regarding my intention to reserve a slot for a class that starts next week, but if I ever get my slot, this would definitely be something to look forward to every week!


Speaking of things to look forward to, I have to end this post for now.  It's 2:08AM, I'm a bit groggy and I have George R.R. Martin's A Storm of Swords waiting for me on my bedside table.  Today was spent migrating 7-8 years worth of emails from one account to another...the OC-ness provoked by this exercise is exhausting!

Of weird dreams and other things not worth mentioning.

When nightly images in the deepest recesses of your brain begin to take a turn for the worst and start showing yourself being forced to marry an evil version of a direct relative (it's too awful to say which one exactly...let's just say it's deeply disturbing to marry someone this close to you in the family tree) to save the life of your real-life significant other, you know it's time to WAKE THE FUCK UP AND REBOOT.  Shake off the bad juju.  Maybe even tear up and whimper a little.  That's what I've been doing almost every night.

I don't get it.  I've been having weird dreams/nightmares on a daily basis for almost a week now.  They usually involve people I communicate with on a daily basis, my family, my close friends as bad people, and sometimes, my subconscious digs up people from my forgotten past and puts them in a supporting actor spot, and usually, in an antagonist role, i.e. the person is out to ruin my life, kill people dear to me, rape me or my female friends and family members, the works.  Sometimes the person transforms into a monster before coming after me.  Being raped by a monster!  Can you imagine?!  Where is all this coming from?

No, it can't be because I've been watching too many crime-centered shows or horror movies because for weeks now I've only been exclusively marathoning Sex and the City (okay, for some, this might be classified as horror, but not me!).  It can't be because I think of destructive thoughts before bed time, i.e. some hooligan bursting into our apartment to rob us, rape me, and kill J (or if the hooligan were into guys, maybe the other way around), because I usually think of happy thoughts before I drift off to sleep.  Could it be because I'm currently reading A Clash of Kings by R.R. Martin?

A quick Google search reveals that the most common cause for nightmares in adults include sickness or fever, stress, relationship issues, trauma from violence, and use of drugs and alcohol. Hmm, we've been drinking beer every night with a goal of accumulating 54 empty bottles for our home beer brewing project.  Could that be it?  I'll try to not drink beer today and see if it's connected.

Usually, going back to sleep and "modifying" the dream works for me, but lately, it's been failing.  The silly part of me even flipped my pillow to the other side one time, in the hopes of changing the bed vibes.  Didn't help either.

How do you snap out of a cycle of bad dreams?

January 2012: A Review

I know this blog promises a daily dose of my dutiful writing, and I know I haven't been awesome at keeping up with my daily goals that have anything to do with typing out my thoughts on this cyberdiary, but here I am, trying (always trying) to make it up to myself (and whoever reads this stuff) by writing about the awesomeness that was/is this month.

Here goes.

Week 1: Greeted 2012 with a bang....actually, with a couple o' hits o' MJ, some homemade beer, and a shot of pure absinthe (not a good idea, I tell you).  In the first few moments of New Year's Day, J became a huge casualty because he chugged half the mini-bottle before realizing that it was burning a trail down his esophagus. We immediately helped him into bed and he put his best puppy dog eyes and asked me to get in.

Also, amidst his high and drunken daze, he managed to tell me he's been sure for a while that I was The One and asked me to marry him.  Tearfully, I said yes.

To be quite honest, the days following that are pretty much a blur now.  Yes, I saw my first snow fall and it was magical.  Yes, I was able to spend time with his parents and see the town where he grew up.  But the first week of the year that will forever be known as The Best Year Ever will always be memorable because of this exchange:

Jam: You owe me. What were you talking about last Christmas?
Jason: What do you mean?
Jam: What you told your mom about me extending (my stay)?
(silence)




Jason: Do you want to get married?
(silence)




Jam: Huh?
Jason: Do you want to get married?
Jam: Do you?
Jason: I do.
Jam: Are you sure???
Jason: I am. I've been sure for a long time.
(silence)


(tears)






Jam: Wow.
Jason: so...will you marry me?
Jam: Hell yeah!  Yes!  I've been sure for a long time, too!

On January 5, we made it "Facebook official" and told the rest of the peoples our good news.

Week 2: This was even more awesome than the first week because it was the week that we got our marriage license and the week that we actually got married.

J&J got hitched on the very lucky day of Friday the 13th.  Yes, we're awesome like that.

For our "honeymoon" over the long weekend, we decided to hit the road and go to Disneyland.  It is, after all, the happiest place on Earth.  It only seemed appropriate that we made it our destination on such a momentous occasion.  Plus, I've never been there before and it has always been a big childhood dream of mine.  That, and marrying the man of my dreams.  Two birds, one stone!  Hell yeah.

Week 3: We pretty much just carried on with our usual routine, being happy and all that jazz.  Getting married didn't really change our lives drastically, which only meant that we were already in a great place to begin with.  Of course, being the gushy girl that I am, I squealed and teared up every time J called me wifey or told his work mates "he had to go home to the missus".  I am definitely loving being Mrs. K.

As a team, we also continued to follow our running program.  For at least 4 weeks, I'm supposed to run three times a week (every other day) following this outline:

Day 1: 5 minute walk, 1 minute easy run + 1 minute walk (repeat 10 times), 5 minute walk = 30 minutes
Day 2: 5 minute walk, 2 minute easy run + 1 minute walk (repeat 7 times), 5 minute walk = 31 minutes
Day 3: 5 minute walk, 1 minute easy run + 30 seconds walk (repeat 6 times), 30 seconds easy run + 1 minute walk (repeat 8 times), 5 minute walk = 31 minutes

J's following a more advanced schedule, but for someone starting from square one, mine's pretty attainable.  I'm slowly becoming more used to running again and I must admit, I am loving it!  The dork in me especially loves the fact that we recently both got new matching running shoes (see photo).

Week 4: J's company Milo went on a company skiing trip in Tahoe and he brought me along so I can experience skiing for the first time.  He enrolled me in a novice class where I learned how to balance on skis,  get up on a slope by side stepping, gliding, turning, and all the necessary skills one needs to be able to go down a green course (green = beginner, blue = intermediate, black = expert).  By the end of the day, I was so exhausted that I kept wiping out down the Big Easy trail at Northstar Ski Resort (yeah yeah, the trail name was mocking me).  The competitive overachiever in me teared up and hated the fact that I couldn't connect my turns and successfully carve, but the supportive husband in J told me I did a good job considering it was my first time and that I should try again soon...which I will!

All in all, January shaped up to be an incredible start of 2012.  If the following months continue on in this fashion, then my prediction will be correct: that this year is indeed the best year ever.